Me, Myself, and I.. or someone else?

I am really attached to my cat. I am uncomfortable around other people. My cat offers something no person can offer. Complete and total unconditional love. Ok, so maybe if I started beating him, and then never fed him, he wouldn't love me, however, I'm not going to start doing that. What I mean is, I don't have to hide anything from him. I could have every nasty, bad habit around, and he will still greet me at the door. I could.. pick my nose, and fart and burp constantly, and do lots of other things that are something other than lady like, and he won't judge me, he won't care. I can come home crying every day for 2 years, and he will still love me. He won't get fed up with me. Won't give up and not be able to tolerate my sadness any more. I could way 500 lbs, or 100 lbs, and he will still love me. When I am around just Freddie, I don't have to hide anything, be anything that I am not. I don't have to put on a face, or a front. I don't have to censor myself, or pretend to have it all together. I don't have to be sad, or happy. I can be anything, anyway, me and myself , and I. In front of other people, we censor ourselves. We think about what we do before doing it. We make sure we are fairly polite, respectable. I don't have to do any of that for the cat. I can just BE.

Birthdays

My birthday was a few days ago. There was really no todo about it. I was feeling rather sad, as I do on most of my birthdays. A few years ago, I was at work on my birthday, and feeling much of the same. The manager asked me to go check the mail. I told her I had checked it on my way in that morning, but she told me she really needed me to go check it again, because she was waiting for something to come in. So I was like, fine, ok, no prob. I went and got Cubby (the mailbox is at the end of a very long drive way, so it was a short 5-10 minute walk with the dog), and checked the mail. Just as I thought, the mailbox was empty. So I sat down back at the shelter, out in the drive way, and spent a little time with the dog. Then Paula knocked on the window, and tells me I have a phone call. So I get up, and go inside. Reaching for the phone, i look around, and realize that everyone is wearing party hats and their is a cake on the desk. They threw me a mini suprise party. It was great. It totally made my day. Anyway, since then, that has been the the general rule of thumb for birthdays. Bring in a cake, and a present, and have a little celebration. Well, my birthday this year fell on a day where the most people are out. So, there was no celebration. Not even a happy birthday. No word from my family. No word from friends. Towards the end of the day, my cousin came into work and brought me a piece of cake. It was nice. But it was sad, because other than in a chat room, that was it. My mom called the next day. Anyway, the whole thing was rather dissappointing. On Tuesday, the manager looked at the calander and was like, "oh man, it was your birthday, we need to have a cake". Then that was the end of it. Well, Today, she brought in cupcakes and a present. It was a little late, but it was such a nice gesture. It really made my day. Made me feel much better about the whole thing. I'm still lonely, and need people in my life who really get it, but , maybe they care a little more than I usually think they do. I don't know. I just don't know, and don't think I will ever have it figured out. Maybe some day it will all fall into place, but I doubt it. No point in worrying about it at this point though. Another year to go before I have to worry about being forgotten on my birthday again. Now I just have to worry about ThanksGiving and Christmas.

Ideas Anyone??

Today must have been idea day. I was on a roll this morning. I think I had 3 or 4 ideas... although I can't currently remember what they are.

Reading that makes me feel like a total blond. LOL Anyway, I'm talking like... ideas of things that may make things easier or whatever.