Everyone has an inner light... it is your job to find it...

I changed the screen saver on the shelter computer tonight after everyone left, so when they come in tomorrow... haha, its now light blue, with purple text that says "Everyone has an inner light, it is your job to find it". Hahahahahahahahahaha. Ok, not that that isn't true, but being a shelter worker is a bitter bitter job, and we tend to hate people, and its so easy to get caught up in the hating of people and the loving of animals and blame just assume the majority of the people are either asses, or are idiots. Or, our favorite... a combination of both. So this is a happy thought, one we need to think more often. When I started working at the shelter I was a nice person. Hell, even 2-3 yrs ago, I was a nice person. But, the longer your in this field, the meaner and more bitter you get. I can see the change in me, and I don't like it. So I try to adjust it just a little, to remember some of that hope that I had that allowed me to argue the case of someone who might just need a little understanding, instead of our judgement. It's hard though, with so much built up hostility. Oh well. Today is the 2nd anniversary of loosing Cubby. Although, I don't think that anniversary is the right word. Technically, it is correct, however, anniversary sort of has a happy connotation to it. Oh well. I had a dream last night that a long lost friend commited suicide. I was very sad, because I was trying to reconnect with him. I could have had this dream because this is the 2nd anniversary of Cubby's death, and also, just after the 2nd anniversary of a long lost friend who did commit suicide. And yet, I feel I should call someone who might still know him and just check in. Hmm.. I actually think I will do that now... My landlady who reads tarot cards had given me a reading before.. and she said that often, when you dream of someone who has died, its because they have come to you. So I have to double check... just so I can sleep easier. I dreamt of the same person the night before as well, which is unusual because I have never dreamt of him before, or atleast, not that I can remember. Ok, going now to ease my mind.