The turtle ate, and ate well today!!! I put some more of the worms in the tank, dropped them right in front of him, and onto the plants that are in there. The turtle went right down (after fighting through the plants for 10 minutes) and gobbled some up! And he is still looking for more to eat. LOL. He is a little slow on catching them, they drop right on top of him, and then slide off and slip under the gravel. And they are quick when he tries to take a chomp. Jump right out of his way. My toes are cold and my face is hot. I'm so confused. lol.

Love's the only house, big enough for all the pain in the world Ouch I hurt. It's probably just pms bullshit, but I'm sad, and lonely, and weepy. :-( The tears just roll down my face, fall out of my eyes, without much provocation, and I do nothing to stop them. Gggrrrrrrrrrrr! I want ... I don't know, I just don't know, I don't know. I want something real, someone real, someone, something tangible, in arms reach, I want to be able to tell soemone when I am sad, when I am crying, when I need a hug. I don't want to stay alone in my misery. And I don't just want someone who I can do this with, but I want to be able to do this, to actually have the ability to go up to someone when I am sad, and saying, help, I am sad. What is so fucked up with me that I can't do that?! Funny, I found something out a few weeks ago that explains a lot. My mom didn't not love me when I was younger, she simply played head games with me, so that I would think she didn't love me, didn't care, so that I would cling to her more. It worked like a charm. And I never knew it, not until I was talking to my cousin a few weeks ago, and she mentioned it. Wow, no wonder I have issues.

Our new executive director wants to do things by the books, payroll wise. She wants people being payed for all hours they are there and everything. We are all shocked. Today she jokingly threatened to fire me if I didn't take lunch or a break when she told me to. Haha, cus thats insubordination. A boss, ordering someone to take a break, or to take lunch...?? Shocking I know, especially in our field. We are still trying to adjust to her, she is sooooo different than the director who we just... errr.. who is no longer being the director. LOL. My mom called every number on the lotto just before they came up a few weeks ago. I was like, "Damn mom, you could be one of the commercials for why its necessary to always buy your ticket" Yay!!!!!!!! The turtle is eating! I don't know if he eats any of the turtle food, or the live worms that I put in there, cus they go hide when I drop them in the water. But I see him eating the live plants that I put in the tank yesterday. Woohoo, I was getting concerned.

ohhh I'm a tired girl this evening. I went to the gym today for the first time in 2-3 weeks. It was good. And I cleaned some, and took care of the horse out back, and then went to the Theraputic riding place. I got to lead the horses for two lessons, out on trail rides. Just got home a little while ago, to find my turtle (still not named) stuck half upside down in the corner of the tank. I thought he was dead, when I dropped him back in the water, he didn't do anything. No swimming or anything, just got pushed away by the filter. So I pulled him out of the water and put him on his rock, thinking I should just throw him out, and feeling bad, but I had to be sure, and then I'm watching him sit on the rock and I thought I might have seen him move his head. But I wasn't sure, because it was so minute, and when you want a dead animal to move, you can always see them move. (or atleast thats been my experience) Anyway... So I leave him there a few minutes and then he starts really moving... just his head at first, but then finally he got up and walked around for a minute and then went back into the water. So tonight I have to rearrange the tank, so he doesn't get stuck tomorrow while I will be gone for 14 hours.