Wishy washy, So confused

I am sad... I, like almost every one else in the world, long for human companionship... I want someone to love me and all that, blah blah blah.. but here's the thing... I don't actually like people. In general, I think most people are pretty retched. I don't know what I'm supposed to do with that. I don't know if I could live with another person. Ugh, Oiy, blech. Not that it matters much, because I will never find anyone anyway.

Day after day

Day by day by day goes by, just existing, continuing, down the road. The tiredness grows, overtakes everything I do. Always simply waiting, for tomorrow, or the next day, or next month.. waiting for that magic wand, that miracle that will change my life. Just keep plugging on and on, with nothing, towards no goal, no destination. Its not always about the destination, but also about journey, this I know, and yet, am helpless to do anything about it. I have no destination, so therefore, no journey, and yet, have to keep going anyway, for there is not a pause button on life. So instead, I march on blindly, with little acknowledgement of the lives going on around me. How long does this go on for? How far can you go before something comes along to wake you up? What am I waiting for? Why should I have to wait? Life is to be lived, not merely tolerated. And yet, all I can do is try to tolerate it for now. I simply can't live.