Wooohooooo! I got some good news Tuesday. Me and anohter girl from work one a full scholarship to a conference in New Hampshire in the end of April. Hotel costs and conference fees. I am so excited. We were going to get ot go even if we didn't win the scholarship, but for the two of us it would have cost the shelter a few hundred dollars. So its nice to know that we get to go, and get to offset the costs. Woohoo! Our exective director was fired two a few days before we got the news, so thats sort of a bummer not to be able to tell him, but bah. It would seem that the board who fired him didn't actually know all fo what his job entailed, and so there is no one really who can properly train the interim director, or the one that will be hired in 3 months when the interrim director leaves. It would seem that the board might have been a little hasty in the termination of the previous director. As far as I know, he wasn't even given 2 wks notice or anything. So things may be a beit interesting as we proceed forward with no one really sure who to call or who should be paying the bills or who should be picking up the cash box weekly. :My face is itchy for some reason. blah. Things feel off today. I am not sure why... just something is amiss it would seem. Tomorrow I go and have my finger x-rayed again. hopefully he will tell me that it is healed. I think it will still take a little while for it to function completely normally thouhg. I still can't straighten it all the way. The top joint just won't flex up. But I can almost make a tight fist again. It gets a little sore if I try to lay it completely flat though. I don't know. I will find out more tomorrrow. Woohoo I might not be the quieen of all typos any more... may have my position reduced to typo princess or dutchess instead. Would be nice. I am typing with it now... its still a little off, but with each word it gets back iinto the swing of things. LOL. Who knew a finger could be such a paiin.

Ms P O Jones: ooh- i meant to tell you
Ms P O Jones: saturday morning amy's all "i really like megen. i'm so happy we got to hang out with her. she's such a nice person and she's so genuine, and she seems to be opening up more to me and that's cool!"
Ms P O Jones: amy was like, raving about you! we love you megen, you're so much fun!
SSmilingsuicide9: awwwwwwww
SSmilingsuicide9: stop yer gonna make me all weepy
SSmilingsuicide9: lol
SSmilingsuicide9: well i8 love you guys too
Ms P O Jones: lol, awwww. I just thought i'd pass some compliments on your way.
Ms P O Jones: we've got to get together more often, all of us. and sara too!
SSmilingsuicide9: most definatly

The above was a convo between me and a frioend who i met throiugh work. AWWWWWWWWWWWW I have the coolest friends in the whole world! *runs ioff and cries some* sorry i just had to put that herer so that i have somewhere to look when i need to remember that i do indeed have friends.

I was thinking about the offer that my cousin gave me to move in with her and her fiance' and a mutual aquantince sometime over the summer. At first I said yes. I like to have a lot of time to think things over really thouroughly, because I need time to consider all of thge pro's and cons and such. I didn't really have that chance, as I was on the phone with her and she sort of suprised me. And at first I thought that I was pretty sure that thats what I wanted. Now I am not so sure. I liek to be able to come home to my cat being happy to see me, and getting up ion my lap, to the peace that I know I will have.. or atleast sometimes to the wanting and liking, not sometimes to the having, to having my own mailbox, that no one else is going to touch, and so I am the only one who will loose my mail. To having my mess and only my mess to look at, and to clean. To only having my own phone fcalls to answer or return, and not to have to deal with anyone else taking or not taking messages, or loosing the phone. Or leaving lights on. Or having the TV on too loud. Or having people over when I am too tired to change and be presentable. Only my own guests to keep me up at night when I have to work the next morning. Life with them, back in that house, means... more space to move. A shower big enough to shave my legs in, a bath tub if I want to take a bath. A quieter neighborhood. A nice place to take relaxing walks before or after dark. Here there is so much traffic, and so many street lights, the walk wouldnt be any fun, and would be significantly more dangerous. To have more than 200 sq ft. of room to move around, and for Freddie top have more room to move around inside, plus a nice yard outside. It also means much more social interactions. To get to be included more often, even if it only by default. It also however means, parties on nights when I have to work in the morning. Lots of visitors. Having other people have a lot of access to Freddie. Having people loose my mail. Or wake me up. Or interrupt me on the phone. It means having other people take messages for me, and me having to take messages for other people. It also means having other peoples dishes to do, and other people's mess to clean up. And other people to check with if I plan on doing something in the house. It also means less bills (all utilities included except heat), and less rent (by $125 a month). It also means a lot of things. It means moving back into that house that I dreamed day and night every day since I was 8 of leaving. It wouild be different and better, but I fear I am like my mother in my avoidance of places that have bad memories. If my cousin was to call me today and tell me that her mom isn't going to move out after all, I dopn't think I would be sad. If my aunt does move, and the house is for rent, will I still agree to move in? I am not sure. My cousing and I were supposed to talk last week sometime to discuss some of the details, but she never called me again. And I am in no rush. May things look different to me in another month or two? Of course. I may be turning myself inside out for human companionship by then. Right now I am ok because I just had a fix on Friday. But only time will tell for now...