A chore or not?

When simply sitting up in the morning is a chore, how is a person also supposed to get up and brush their teeth?
When simply opening your eyes is a chore, how is a person supposed to put on clean clothes?
When simply opening your mouth to talk to a friend is a chore, how is someone supposed to do the dishes?

Its hard to become conscious in the morning, or any time for that matter, and even harder to maintain that state of being. Its not a case of not getting enough sleep, or being over tired or anything, its simply hard to BE at this point. So how am I supposed to hang out with friends, do the dishes, clean my car, do the laundry? How am I supposed to function like a normal human being, when all I want is to be asleep? Not even asleep, simply unaware instead. What then?

Lonely... whyyyyyy am IIIIII so lonely...

I want...... to fall completely and totally head over heals in love, and have it reciprocated.
I want...... to actually feel a pair of arms wrap around me, and no longer have to imagine them.
I want...... to not have it be a chore to be with friends, for it to be a natural thing, the way its supposed to be.
I want...... to be able to listen to music or read poetry without having to stop because my stomach starts to flip, and my heart hurts
I want..... to not wind up the scary old cat lady.
I want..... to be able to maintain a normal level of cleanliness without it being a big ordeal.
I want..... to live happily ever after, or to just not live any more at all.

Just a few things to think on.

I am reading this book by Frank McCourt (I think, I can't seem to locate the book at this second) Woohoo, I found the book and I was right. Anyway, so I'm reading this book, and its called " 'Tis" It's pretty good. So I was reading, and came across a quote that Frank heard when he was younger, and it was really quite something.
"...the only person in the world who makes any sense is Albert Camus who says your most important act every day is deciding not to commit suicide."
That one kind of made me go.. hmmmm...
And one more little thing. I was online earlier, and on msn messenger, you can change how your name appears on a daily basis, and it still comes up on your friends buddylist, because it is done by email, rather than by name persay. And today, I had one name pop up as "I used to have a handle on life... and then it broke off" Thats another thing that makes me go "hmmmmm..."
Ok, thats it for now. I just had to get it down so I could stop obsessing about it.