It has been "another exciting day at the Animal Rescue League" Or year for that matter. Ugh. I think we are cursed, its the only thing that would explain it. Our dog person is out atleast until christmas with an injury, my cat person left early today, and the receptionist ended up in the ER with an allergic reaction to the shelter. We don't know to what exactly, but just something. So I was there for the afternoon with dog kennels to clean, by myself. These people came in and looked at a cat, and the poor lady was crying cus she was so happy that her husband liked the cat and she hugged me. And then they adopted the cat because I like these people and know they are good pet owners because they have adopted from us before, and before they left, both of them gave me a hug and a KOTC. And the lady was still crying. Oh jeepers. I didn't know quite what do to so I just went along with it. LOL. And the receptionist is a touchy person... Like, she touches people. I was sitting at the desk yesterday and she comes over and starts rubbing my shoulders. I didn't know what to do so I simply forced myself not to shrug away. I am not used to anyone touching me ever, and lately, it seems that people are all over me! Ok so whats a normal amount of human contact to everyone else is making me wonder what is going on, but then again, I am used to going months without even so much as a hug or a handshake from family or anyone. So its odd for me. LOL. Then again it seems I am the most untouchable person in the whole (although it may be small) state of RI. Oiy oh well, atleast the dogs/cats like me... or did anyway.

Life is so short.
you're not promised tomorrow.
it's not like you can afford
to waste away with sorrow.

Myyrh Lala
Mv, WA
Hmm.. Something to think on.

I have noticed a slightly disturbing sign being put up around here... "Emergency Evacuation Route" with an arrow pointing where to go. I see these signs on the highway and such. So some friends and I were talking about them, and we came to a realization. If these signs were due to threats from storms (such as nor'easters and hurricanes as we are on the ocean) they would just lead inland, and leave it at that. However, they lead to an "Emergency Evactuation Shelter" instead. So are these signs up so that we know where to go if we are faced with military attack? Another disturbing thing I have noticed. I live on an island, attached to the mainland and one other much larger island by two bridges. There are no count them 0 emergency evactuation signs on the island I live on. Its not a terribly large island. Lol. I would like to know exactly what made the government decide to build an emergency evacuation shelter and put signs up all over the place, and why there are none where I live. Heh, I was thinking of calling the town hall just to see what they would say. LOL So are we expecting a few really bad storms, or simply expecting to be under attack and need somewhere to hide and be safe. And do they figure that by living on an island we are all pretty screwed and the bridges will just be shut down so whats the point of trying? Bah I pretend to care in my more sane moments. I know I care, but at the moment, I am tired and numb and can't be bothered. Argh.

The night before my 21st birthday I was at a party at my cousins house. It was a suprise party for one of her roomates. Well, I somehow ended up very drunk. LOL. I mean, like, really freaking wasted. Now, I don't drink often, and had only been really drunk once before, but nothing like this. I had decided to say the hell with it, and just give in every time someone told me to take a shot (oops), because I was tired of feeling like me, and quite frankly I wanted to drink all my sadness away. Ha it worked. I ended up drunk enough so that I went upstairs with some people, and ended up smoking some weed (which I had never done before). I was so drunk on my way up the stairs that I couldn't really see well. This guy Nick showed me how to use the pipe and whatnot, and kept telling me it was ok to cough. LOL And then he helped me down the stairs. So my cousin thinks it will be a good idea to take me to the bar (she didn't realize just how drunk I was, and didn't know I had just been smoking on top of it) I was so messed up in the bar that the bouncer threw me out as soon as I walked in. I was just standing there swaying. Hahaha. So we go back to the house, and I sat on the couch, and was given some water. The water was in a glass so I didn't want to hold, I was afraid I would drop it. At one point Nick walks by and I ask him to hand me the water. Lol And then I start rambling on about how he's such a nice guy and whatnot and end up saying I love him. Now granted I meant I loved him in the wow your a nice guy and your wicked cool kind of love, not the I am in love with you and want to tie you up and molest you kind of love, but I was too drunk to explain that and so just apologized for saying it. LOL Well, last weekend was a suprise party for my cousin, and Nick was there. This time I got drunk, but not that drunk. Nick got a bit tipsy this time himself. We are sitting around the kitchen table and he tells me something that just floored me. He told me that he had no life, and that that realization had put him in a deep depression. And then he decided to live his life for others. So now, to make him happy, he helps other people and he is good at it. I was like holy shit someone who thinks the way I do! I didn't realize that there were other people who had that same basic idea. Was definatly something I found very interesting.

Friends, Family, and Love.

I wonder if everyone has to actualize what their motivation is. I mean, make it an actual tangible thought, instead of allowing it to be sub-conscious, lay dormant. On days off, I lay there and go what *should* I do today, what do I *have* to do, and what do I *need* to do. I can do things I need to do without much effort. Aka, feed the rabbit, let the cat in and out, or do things that are on my schedule that affect other people such as going to work or the radio show. Things that I *have* to do such as clean, check the mail, pay bills, take a little more motivation. And then the things that I *should* do such as clean the rabbit cage, go to the gym, get out of bed and be productive or act like a normal human being, are a huge battle. I have to lay there and figure out why I should. Today, I got up and did the dishes, because my aunt would be stressed if I didn't. I didn't need or have to do the dishes, they aren't mine, and I have been hoping that someone else would do them. But I don't want my aunt to have any extra stress. So today, she was the motivation for getting out of bed. Because quite frankly, I could have stayed there until tomorrow. First, I tried to blame it on being sick, but then I realized I had the same problem wednesday, and the previous monday, when I wasn't sick. Are there people who live for themselves, instead of searching desperatly for others to live for? Or people who do things just because instead of needing to justify everything? I wonder. Without friends and family, and the animals which I fill my life with, I would have no motivation. If I packed up and moved to a place where I had none of the above, I wouldn't be long for this world at all. It would be over very quickly. I would literally have nothing to live for if someone asked. Heh, atleast now I am able to come up with an answer, even if its half made up and I have to search for a minute to find it. How intersting it could be to see inside the head of a person who was relatively sane and stable eh?

Arg. Fuck a duck man! Coldplay is going to be at the Orphium in Boston on Weds. I could definatly justify going to see them. Although simply getting to Boston is scary and there is no one to go with. And even if you get to Boston, you have to park somewhere else, and then walk to the Orphium and I could get lost. It would be scary. But who the hell cares if it would be scary. Imma have to find out when they will be around this way again so next time I can be prepared. *makes evil frustrated about to rip the persons arm off hiding under the lampshade critter noises*

Die food Die!!!!I hate food. Food is the enemy. ARG

Something....... I don't know..... I did though.... really