I'll be loved, I'll be loved, Like I never have Known...

"You'll be loved, you'll be loved like you never have known, and memories of me will seem more like bad dreams, just a series of blurs like I never occured... someday, you will, be loved" - from Death Cab for Cutie

How I hope that someday, I will be loved, like I never have known. Most of the time, I'm not lonely any more. I don't know if I just got used to being alone, or if I just don't think about it any more, or I just learned to enjoy my own company, but most of the time I'm ok. Sometimes though, especially if I think about it, or if someone else thinks about it for me... (as someone who hasn't had a signifigant other in FOREVER, people ask, or other people tell me they will be alone forever and I'm kinda like... uhh YOU? what about me!) it comes creeping in. I fight it off a lot, and distract myself, ect, but good golly miss molly I dun wanna be alone forever, even if I'm totally antisocial most of the time. So, like, this is what I'm waiting for. Ready? Hold onto your seat... don't laugh too hard.
I want to have some nice guy strike up a casual friendship with me. From there, we become really good friends. And from there, we both fall totally in love, which we dance around for a while, and take really slow, and then eventually, live happily ever after. By take slow... I'm talking it will take a least a year to go from casual friends to really good friends... and we have to be really good friends for like, atleast 6 mths... I'm not setting a timeline, so much as simply thinking about myself and who I am and how long it will take me to trust someone enough to let things progress. Jeepers freakin' creepers I'm broked. And I'm like doing this weightloss thing, with Weightwatchers, which I like... but I just still have no motivation, and no hope that this is gonna work long term, cus quite frankly, I see no point in losing a bunch of weight so that I can be skinny and healthy enough to live longer to have longer to live and know that I'm rediculously broked, far past the point of ever being able to be in a healthy relationship ever. So like, then what do I do? It just gets annoying, and I dun know how to fix it, and bah humbug.