"Time's just a train, rolling down the track, every minute is a boxcar you don't get back..."

"...take a look around you.. It's all gonna change.. Whatever you see its never gonna stay the same..."

I was digging through some stuff, looking for my passport and some paper to write on.. and I came across old letters I had saved. Most of them from a long lost best friend. The person I went to Oregon to see this past summer. It had been so long since we had talked or written.. we were complete strangers to each other. She was still definatly herself. But me? Was I me? I know I was the me that I am, but did I at all resemble the me that I was? Its so strange to think of how time changes everything. What time can do to our dreams, to our friendships, to what we believe. Time changes everything, even what we expect and what we think might make us happy. What might make life livable. I feel like I still have so much to figure out, so much to change, but at the same time, I can't beleive that I may have to live another 50 years like this. Minute by minute, day by day, year by year... time just slips away... and as much as everything changes.. what if nothing gets better? Then what? When do I get to throw in the towel and call it quits? Why did I allow myself to turn into this, and why can't I get myself out of it now? What am I gonna do with 50 years of boxcars still to watch slip away... all alone, with nothing and no one to fill in the void?