Ask just about anyone, and they will agree, I am definately atleast a little crazy. But when I think of my general mental health now, compared to how it used to be, now it is so much better. There is a girl at the farm that takes lessons, and she reminds me a lot of me. I don't know what she does theraputic riding for, exactly what her problem is, but I know that if she has the issues that I had/have, she has a long rode ahead of her. I want to savce her from the work, which I can't. I used to hide in myself, because I was sure that no one could like me. So if I never did anything, never said anything, then I someone would have to like me, because I wasn't giving anyone a reason not to. I was so meek. Last night at the farm I had to bring a horse out to his field, and because it was dark, and a way from the barn, the teacher sent another volunteer with me. This guy, who I really haven't spoken with. Ya know, he's real quiet, and I'm real shy. So anyway, its like a 5 min walk each way. And he asked me a question, and I just started talking. And it was easier than it used to be. Originally I would have just been real quiet and evasive. And then I started trying to speak to people. It took a long time, and I'm not miss social butterfly who could carry on a convo with a wall without a problem, but its a lot easier than it used to be. And I find a lot of myself slipping through almost immediately. Just sort of telling them Hi heres how I am. Sorry if you don't like me because of it. I needed someone to like me, someone to love me, for me to like and love me. And I am beginning to think its possible. Maybe I'm not so terrible after all. I am far from perfect, but am I the worst person in the world? I'm beginning to think, maybe not. And its a start, a step in the right direction. So cheers to being able talk to a cute guy, and cheers to a little bit of mental health. Woohoo. LOL