Why Do We Dream if Our Thoughts Have No Meaning?

Ugh, My birthday is coming up and it just reminds me how lonely I am. The only person who it seems to have occured to is (Besides Joanne, Thanks JO!!!) is one person at work. Soooo... my plan is to get some alcohol, sit here, and drink myself into a stupor while crying to my cat. And if my family doesn't even call me, well then, I might have to "work" at both my jobs on Christmas. Which is basically like cutting off my nose to spite my face, or shooting myself in the foot, but ya know... they don't need me, so why should I need them. :*( Anyway, now I keep having these dreams about being the person left out, and everyone in the dreams are people that I used to go to school with. Dreams that make me want to cry, and then I wake up because I'm so lonely it hurts. Arg, I don't want to do this any more. There is no end in site for it. It just doesn't stop. I watched this movie, About a Boy the other night. It was great. went from Hugh Grant drinking himself into a stupor because he was bored on Christmas, to him having lots of friends and family around, and enjoying it. Too bad thats not in the stars for me. I wonder what makes me so messed up that I can't accept love from people who would be willing to give it to me, and makes almost everyone else dislike me. Ugh, sometimes I dread to think that I may have another 50 years like this.