What kind of soul doyou have?

You Are a Traveler Soul

You're a thrill seeker who loves to be active and on the move You love to wander: between places, ideas, and people. A good communicator, you're a nonconformist and interested in the world. You are an explorer, a good storyteller, and a true dreamer. Because you're always on the move, you can be a bit fickle. It's difficult for you to make personal commitments. Don't be so quick to ignore emotional issues and problems. You're much more intuitive and psychic than you think. Souls you are most compatible with: Retrospective Soul and Dreaming Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

hmmm.. fitting

What is Love quiz

megeth is love
brought to you by the isLove Generator

Umm... I don't get it. :-S

I'm in Limbo

The Dante's Inferno test said that I was in Limbo, if I where to go to hell right now. Limbo is the first level of hell, right below purgatory. The description of Limbo actually fit my life. The giant blank spot under one of the previous posts is an accident. I was typing, and got up and the pillow ended up resting on the return key... for about 5 minutes. I tried to fix it, but ended up not being able to remove the giant space, so there it will stay.

Dante's Inferno

The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to the First Level of Hell - Limbo!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very High
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Low
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's Divine Comedy Inferno Test

I had a dream...

Last night, I had a hard dream. I dreamt that Cubby had been reincarnated, as himself. It was 26 mths after I lost him (which it actually is), and he was back, even looked the same. I knew it was him, he knew who I was... and once again, I lost him. I tried to save him, but failed him for the second time. As we were in the vets office, even as he lay dying in my arms, I was torn between crying and not being able to cry. I kept telling him that I am so sorry, and begging him to forgive me for not only failing him the first time, but for failing him the second time also. I promised that if he made his wa back to me one more time, I would try even harder and that I would find some way to save him the third time. I felt so guilty, having to put him through that again. After he died, I cried so hard, had this feeling that I am a horrible person for failing to save him again. And now I have spent the day longing for him, craving him. I close my eyes and can almost feel him sitting with me, me plucking the under coat, jogging along behind him on the bike path. I miss him. I like to tell myself, that as the song goes "we will meet again some day, and if not here, than somewhere up above", but some times its really hard to find hope in that. What if I never find him again? Or what if I find him, and get stuck with the same problem. What if I make the same decision? Time has eased the day to day, moment to moment pain, dulled the edge, but I'm scared I will feel like this forever. I don't know what to do, all I know is that I miss him, and there is no way to turn back the clock, get him back, fix what I did. The guilt is so bad tonight, I just don't know how to ease it, or make it better. What did I do? I think this is the first time I'v honestly asked myself that question. I spent the last two years trying not to regret my decision, so although I thought of it, I never really allowed it in. But really, what did I do? Death is so final, so permanent, there is no way to fix it.. even if we may meet again, those are odds even an addicted gambler would avoid. Oh jeepers.

I dreamed a thousand new paths; I woke to walk my old one

Th title is something that someone on my buddy list has changed there name to. Interesting. This has really nothing to do with that, although, I could ramble on for some time about what that means to me. Instead, I want to talk about a dog... Shocking isn't it? This dog,Iris, is a hound. Walker hound or fox hound or some combination of similar hounds, she is tri-color and about 50 lbs. Basicaly like a beagle on stilts. Iris is sweet, good with other dogs,and somewhere inside is happy and playful. On the outside, she is timid and withdrawn. Sometimes that happy�����������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������

I dreamed a thousand new paths; I woke to walk my old one

Th title is something that someone on my buddy list has changed there name to. Interesting. This has really nothing to do with that, although, I could ramble on for some time about what that means to me. Instead, I want to talk about a dog... Shocking isn't it? This dog,Iris, is a hound. Walker hound or fox hound or some combination of similar hounds, she is tri-color and about 50 lbs. Basicaly like a beagle on stilts. Iris is sweet, good with other dogs,and somewhere inside is happy and playful. On the outside, she is timid and withdrawn. Sometimes that happy silly side appears, but ever so fleetingly. She has been at the shelter since June. She is improving, although, very very slowly. I was thinking of maybe trying to foster her for a little while. If I brought her home every night, she would be getting handled alot more, probably learn to relax in a car, and we could find out how she acts in a house. We are not sure if she was ever allowed to be a house dog before. I would also be able to teach her about behaving in a house, and find ot how she is with cats. I don't know though. First, I would have to talk to my landlady's, as I agree'd no dogs when I moved in. I don't know what they would say. Although, I would definaty make the stipulation that I am not keeping her, and that if she were disruptive or causing trouble, I wouldn't foster her any more. Then, I would have to discuss it with my boss's. I think Wendy would automaticaly frown on the idea, worried about me doing too much, and becoming attatched. And there is the fact tha she is a lot of work to consider, and that my appartment is tiny, and where would I put a crate for her? Plus, my cat will hate her, no matter how nice she is. But anyway, I'm toying with the idea.

a new template, and some quizzes

You're a Winter. You very much enjoy your time
alone but do like other people's company
sometimes. You just need your space. You have a
few priviledged friends who saw past your
colder exterior to find the true you. You can
have pretty bad mood swings (though you hate to
admit it) so you could be soft one second then
storming around the next! But over all, you're
a very pleasant person once people take the
time to get to know you. You're a good friend
for in-depth talks. You're very talanted when
it comes to creative things.(If you can't see
tje pics, go to my homepage and look near the
bottom and find your result)


What season are you? (pics)
brought to you by Quizilla


src="http:/
You're like an angel. As everyone knows, angels
dwell in heaven. They were desribed as shining
ones wearing white and the idea that they have
wings is believed as well. Guardian angels are
the ones that many people think are dead loved
ones who try to protect the living friends or
family they have on Earth. They usually had
blonde hair and maybe brown with flawless
appearance and sweet dispositions. They were
cheerful, hopefull, selfless, loving, and kind.
Angels are the one mystical creature that a
majority of people truly believe in. Encounters
with angels are poping up all over the world
and reassuring people's beliefs in angels. (If
you cannot see the picture, go to my userpage
and look near the bottom. There should be the
picture and description for all the results)


What Mystical Creature Are You? (Pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla

Stuff

Yesterday, I got home, and about 3 hours later, I had 2 flat tires... like, not a bit flat... we're talking the rims touching the ground totally flat. I had to have both tires replaced this mornin. My boss had taken this little westie puppy that came into the shelter with a major heart problem. He died on sunday night. Dory, aka Angus was only about 6-7 mths old. We have an upper respitory infection going around the shelter, most of the cats are sneezing. 2 of them are really quite sickly. One adult female, Casey, and one 7 wk old male, Thurgood. They both need sub-Q fluids 2 times a day, and medication. Yesterday, we had to resort to force feeding Casey. Today, she ate on her own for the first time in almost a week. My great aunt is dying of colon cancer. I haven't seen her since July of 2003. She only has a few weeks left to live... she ordered that they take out the IV today. She doesn't want to prolong things. I don't know yet whether or not I'm going to go see her. My apartment is cold, colder than the rest of the house.. I think there is something wrong with the heat, but I don't want to mentionanyhing yet until I have had a chance to really clean things up. My keyboard is hard to use. I have to hit the keys hard, like over pronunciating every word. If I try to type too quickly, and don't press hard enough, the letters don't come up. Maybe its time to get a new keyboard. I am lonely.

To Tammy, regarding "Sandiegozu"

Ok, this is to Tammy who emailed regarding a book I have listed as one of my favorites. I tried to e-mail you, but the email address came back as noreply@ blogger, so, figured this would be the best way to get in touch. I tried looking up info on the book, only to discover that you really can't find anything on it. LOL, Ok, so my next step is to look through my book shelves ( I have 3 that are in complete shambles) until I stumble across it, and then I will put the other information on the book up here, such as author, publisher, copy right date, etc. The other thing is that I'm not sure I spelled the title correctly, and, the title was not done in normal fonts, instead, had been done with the dots and lines and such that you find over some of the characters in the character map on the computer. That could be why its so hard to find information on it. Anyway, just wanted to give you an update that I will look for the book and then get back to you, and if you want me to email you directly, please just send a comment through with your e-mail address on it.

Everyone has an inner light... it is your job to find it...

I changed the screen saver on the shelter computer tonight after everyone left, so when they come in tomorrow... haha, its now light blue, with purple text that says "Everyone has an inner light, it is your job to find it". Hahahahahahahahahaha. Ok, not that that isn't true, but being a shelter worker is a bitter bitter job, and we tend to hate people, and its so easy to get caught up in the hating of people and the loving of animals and blame just assume the majority of the people are either asses, or are idiots. Or, our favorite... a combination of both. So this is a happy thought, one we need to think more often. When I started working at the shelter I was a nice person. Hell, even 2-3 yrs ago, I was a nice person. But, the longer your in this field, the meaner and more bitter you get. I can see the change in me, and I don't like it. So I try to adjust it just a little, to remember some of that hope that I had that allowed me to argue the case of someone who might just need a little understanding, instead of our judgement. It's hard though, with so much built up hostility. Oh well. Today is the 2nd anniversary of loosing Cubby. Although, I don't think that anniversary is the right word. Technically, it is correct, however, anniversary sort of has a happy connotation to it. Oh well. I had a dream last night that a long lost friend commited suicide. I was very sad, because I was trying to reconnect with him. I could have had this dream because this is the 2nd anniversary of Cubby's death, and also, just after the 2nd anniversary of a long lost friend who did commit suicide. And yet, I feel I should call someone who might still know him and just check in. Hmm.. I actually think I will do that now... My landlady who reads tarot cards had given me a reading before.. and she said that often, when you dream of someone who has died, its because they have come to you. So I have to double check... just so I can sleep easier. I dreamt of the same person the night before as well, which is unusual because I have never dreamt of him before, or atleast, not that I can remember. Ok, going now to ease my mind.

Tired... oh so very tired

Hmmmm, Blogger has made some more changes... Interesting.. I think I like.
Anyway, Ugh, I'm tired. And tense. I can feel it all through my arms and legs and neck and back, that tiredness you get not from being physically tired, but just from lack of sleep and stress and being worn thin. I have a pair of kittens that I am bottle feeding, and I think one of them has suddenly taken a turn for the worse. S-he (not sure which yet) has become ultra lethargic and won't eat. Poor lil diddly dot... doesn't even have ears or eyes open yet... just lost the umbilical cord remnant this morning. And usually, when so tiny, there is nothing that you can really do. Just hope for the best.
And, I'v been a fool, and my internet service, my phone, and my credit card are all currently cancelled. They will be turned back on in relatively short order, but I don't know if that means a a few days, a week, a month, or what. Oh well, my own doing. But they will be back again soon.

Lets see if I can get his pictures up now.. hmm here we go..

These hopefully will come up as pictures of my dearly missed Cubby dog.

Wishy washy, So confused

I am sad... I, like almost every one else in the world, long for human companionship... I want someone to love me and all that, blah blah blah.. but here's the thing... I don't actually like people. In general, I think most people are pretty retched. I don't know what I'm supposed to do with that. I don't know if I could live with another person. Ugh, Oiy, blech. Not that it matters much, because I will never find anyone anyway.

Day after day

Day by day by day goes by, just existing, continuing, down the road. The tiredness grows, overtakes everything I do. Always simply waiting, for tomorrow, or the next day, or next month.. waiting for that magic wand, that miracle that will change my life. Just keep plugging on and on, with nothing, towards no goal, no destination. Its not always about the destination, but also about journey, this I know, and yet, am helpless to do anything about it. I have no destination, so therefore, no journey, and yet, have to keep going anyway, for there is not a pause button on life. So instead, I march on blindly, with little acknowledgement of the lives going on around me. How long does this go on for? How far can you go before something comes along to wake you up? What am I waiting for? Why should I have to wait? Life is to be lived, not merely tolerated. And yet, all I can do is try to tolerate it for now. I simply can't live.

Alfred the Turtle

Ok, I think that crazyness is contagious. I have a crazy hamster, a cat who's a bit off, and now, my turtle. Alfred is a painted turtle, and usually eats just about everything he can put in his mouth. Sometime last week, I noticed a little beetly thing in his tank. I figured it got in there somehow accidently, and that wasn't a problem. Well... here's the thing... the beetle is still there! It usually stays on his rock, sometimes accidently falls in the water... and Alfred never eats him. Alfred has a pet. Maybe I should give the beetle a name. LOL There are also a lot of bloodworms in the tank, that Alfred has yet to eat. I don't know if he just too slow, or too lazy to catch them. Strange strange turtle. I mean, he looks for them, acts like he is eating them, but, being a turtle, he is always hungry. Anyway, if he wants to have a pet beetle, he can, I don't mind, so long as the beetle stays in the tank.

If I only had another 6 months...

If I knew that I could live well and fully for another 6 months.. and then I would just cease to exist, what would I do with my time?
I would go swimming.
I would walk a dog
I would ride a horse
I would go to the aquarium
I would go to the zoo
I would tell my family how I feel about them
I would speak my mind
I would watch the sun rise
I would watch teh sun set
I would go to the bar and flirt shamelessly
I would ride a bike fast down a hill
I would go swim with dolphins
I would go canoeing
I would go camping
I would laugh heartily
I would eat some really really sinful desserts
I would snuggle with someone
I would party hearty
I would get a tattoo
and of course, I would be going sky diving, bunji jumping...
I would.. take a trip to the rain forest
I would kayak among orca's
I would go dancing and sing karaoke, like no one else is around
I would live
I would not tolerate people who made me feel bad
Thats what I would do if I had 6 months to live... Or atleast... thats what I hope I would do. What would you do?

Some more (bigger) changes in Bloggerworld

Seems this Blogger thing is still changing itself. Been seeing differeing things here and there since I started this Blog, and this time, they have changed a lot, fast. I like it. More choices for the templates again, which is great, because for a while, they were kind of stingy about them. I like to change things up on occassion, and there were only a couple of options. I don't know a whole heck of a lot about changing the template custom like, so I was sort of stuck. So yep, I like these dots. Alrighty, my fingers hurt. Fred doesn't feel well, this worries me. He had a semi-blocked bladder yesterday, emergency trip to 24 hour vet clinic got it unblocked temporarily, but he seems to be having the same issue today. Hopefully, we can get to see his regular vet tomorrow. He has to come to work with me tomorrow though, just so I can keep an eye on him. My poor lil Freddie.

Unconstitutional??? Which constitution are you reading?

Ok, so there is all this todo about Gay Marriage, or the lack there of. I, for one, am totally for it. But here's what I don't understand. All of the people who are against it. With so much hate in the world, why would we prevent someone from loving someone else? And who gets to define what a family is? Why should it be that the only family that counts is the nuclear family? How many of you grew up in the nuclear family, of a mom, a dad, and 2 kids? I didn't. I lived in a home with my mom, my brother, my aunt, my 2 cousins, and my grandfather. Oh yeah, and at one point, a friend of my aunt's as well who needed a place to stay. We were and still are a family. We work hard, telling children that its ok if they live with mom, or dad, or grandma, or grand dad, or an aunt, or uncle, or any combination of the above. So that they don't feel like there is something wrong with their family. But now, they want to make a constitutional amendment that says that family's with 2 men or 2 women don't count. Ok, and the constitution was written to give people the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. In the constitution, it also stipulates that a legal document in one state MUST be honored in all states. So, that means, if I have a CA drivers license, I am allowed to drive in OR. It also means, that if I marry someone in MO, I'm am still considered married in OH. So when CT said it was against their constitution to honor gay marriages done in MA, their constitution is AGAINST the MAIN CONSTITUTION! WHICH IS UNCONSTITUTIONAL!!!!!

Just a little poem

I don't know who wrote this, I got it in e-mail. (yes, one of those ones that say you have to send it to more people or you have no friends, but thats besides the point) The point is, that I do like the little poem, so I'm putting it here.
If I could catch a rainbow

I would do it just for you
and share with you its beauty

On the days you're feeling blue.
If I could build a mountain

You could call your very own;
A place to find serenity,

A place to be alone.
If I could take your troubles

I would toss them in the sea,
But all these things I'm finding

are impossible for me.

I cannot build a mountain Or catch a rainbow fair,
But let me be what I know best,

A friend who's always there.