Nothing's gonna change my world...
Theres just this deep sadness that runs through me for some reason. And I feel it even on good days. And even though today had no reason to be a bad day, I found myself sitting here, crying, thinking about starting a first draft of a suicide note. And then, that led to me wondering how many asprin it would take to do me in, and what the most lethal combination of pills would be, if I were to run to the store right now. So that it wouldnt look suspicious. I was thinking a big bottle of asprin, and a box of sleeping pills. And then, I could run to a different store, and pick up some other things. And in the morning, no one would know. And sunday, probably no one would know. Maybe on monday.... Maybe not for even longer. So I came online, and noone was on, so I went looking on petfinder.. which led me to a website that had job positions for this other shelter on it. And, I ended up emailing the shelter. I also got this email from this guy that saw my profile on a server, and I emailed him back also. There are many reasons why people commit suicide. And there are the people who kill themselves, and then the people who "never end their mortal life", but instead, stop living. I have done that. I have stopped everything except mere existance. I didn't mean to go looking for a new job, but, I guess its a cpr to my failing hope.
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