There's an an emptiness inside her, and she'd do anything to fill it in...

I'm never gonna be one of those skinny minnie itty bitty tiny iny women. Never. I could probably nearly starve myself to death, and work out 10 times a week to boot, and still not fit in a size 6. I don't think there is a size 6 in my entire extended or immediate family. I had finally reached a decent balance of food and excersice, and then somehow thouight I should to some crash ultra low carb diet. Yeah that was great. I turned into a raging godzilla bitch whenever anything would be slightly annoying. But hell it took weight off pretty damn fast. Then the 6 wk group ended, and I thought I could relaz and eat normally for a few days. Oops. Lol. Yeah so I live in this world of delusion where that might have been possible for me. Then reality came crashing through and I couldn't do it right. Not the way I dwas supposed too. 6 wks of making people crazy and doing good all down the tubes. Oh well. Now I try to find that balance that I had before. And its hard to find that balance again now that I have messed it up. I will always have issues with food. I am just too messed up not to I think. *shrugs* What else can I do besides go to a shrink, which I have considered. Lol. I just don't think I can afford it.