Raaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!! Aaarrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...rrrrrrrrrr...rrrrrrrrrrrrr....

Its my day off. I am torn. I lack motivation to do anything. I have a few things that need to be done. Wrapping gifts, laundry, more christmas shopping, the dishes, clean my car... And I want to go and get these things done. On the other hand, I want to go in my room, turn on the radio, and lay there and read all day long. Not get up. Until tomorrow when I have to go to work. Its a gym day, but I am two sore from the last two days to go today. So I plan on going tomorrow. Means I could even go to the shelter and walk a dog. Its nice enough out. But hiding in my room until tomorrow is the closest that I can get to curling up in dark cave and never coming out. I also want to eat every peice of food in the house, and don't want to eat anything at all. Lori Morgan (country singer) did a song about being confused. I can't bring up any of the words at the moment, or the tune, or even what the basic gist of the song was... but I can't help but think it should be my theme song. LOL I am a libra. Which is the scales. Which means that I am supposed to be balanced. So that 2+2=4 and the left is equal to the right, and so on and so forth. If you put a marble on one side, you need to put one on the other. Anyway, If you take my basic average on everything, I believe that I do come out in the middle. However, as we all learned, there are multiple ways to take an average. There is both a mean average and a mode average and a median average. I think there are a few others but I don't remember at the moment. With one of them, you add all the numbers and divide by how many. What ever number comes up is the average. With another one, you simply take the highest and lowest numbers and add them together and divide by 2. With the median, you line all the numbers up in a row, and then which ever one is dead center is your average. Well, If I am average, I must be the one where you only take the two extremes and divide by 2. I am never a little of this and a little of that. I want to be miss social butterfly and I want to be a complete and total hermit. I can be so optomistic, finding the good side of nearly every situation, and laughing everything off, no stress here, and then there are times when someone says boo and I am ready to kill myself and everyone along with me. LOL I am fucking bipolar without being bipolar! Woohoo smashing pumpkins. Favorite smashing pumpkins lines "I'm in love with my sadness", "Emptiness is loneliness, loneliness is cleanliness, cleanliness is Godlyness, AND GOD IS EMPTY!", oh and the wonderful "love is suicide". LOL *makes the evil Critters hiding under the lamp shade noise*